Take it. Take it all.

Chapter 16 teaser - Cade

I slowly open my eyes, the light filtering through the curtain. I rubbed my face and look over at the time. It’s 8:15 in the morning. Another dreamless sleep. Despite the unease of last night, my morning wood betrays my mood.

I can feel you watching me, were you staring at me while I was asleep?

I close my eyes and smile as I stretch my arms over my head.

I have to be honest… I despise that I have lost control over the situation the way I have. Ghosts, witches, Gods, evil books. This is so far out of my fucking wheelhouse.

I’m glad I have you. But I wish I knew what to do.

What’s it like watching all of this play out without being at risk yourself?

I play with the chain of the pendulum as I feel a wave of comfort, as if I’m safe. Like none of this is real.

I wonder what it’s like for you— all reward, no risk.

But I’m glad. Knowing you are safe the way you are makes it easy for me.

I have too much to deal with— though I get the feeling you aren’t without struggle.

I hate and love how separate we are. I wouldn’t change a thing and yet I can’t be there for you. At least not how things are.

I suppose we’ll just have to change that, won’t we?

Because without you—

I don’t trust what I’ll become.

I sit up and glance at my phone, I’ve heard nothing back from Ben, that’s good. That means nothing has changed. I recall our conversation from yesterday and realize I should probably find Gen. Pulling myself out of bed. I look down at my fist and notice the dried blood, I look up to see the large hole I placed there last night. I shake my head in disappointment, moving to my closet, grabbing a fresh change of clothes and a towel. I adjust myself before walking out of the room and making my way into the bathroom, turning on the water.

I rinse my knuckles under the stream and watch the diluted red swirl down the drain. The cut is shallow. Too shallow for the amount of blood I saw. It should hurt more, but it doesn’t. I flex my hand slowly, watching the skin pull and shift.

Maybe Gen’s healing works slower than I thought. She explained it to me when we escaped—but I didn’t process half of what she said.

Good. That means I’m harder to break.

I shut the water off and shake the excess from my fingers when I feel it.

That warmth, low and patient on my skin.

You gonna watch me shower too?

My mouth twitches faintly.

I suppose I don’t mind.

I strip the rest of my clothes off, discarding them without care, and step beneath the spray. The hot water hits my shoulders hard, needles of heat digging into muscle already tight with restrained violence. I welcome it. I tilt my head forward, letting it run over the back of my neck.

The memory surfaces without permission.

The shower, soft hues and delicate hands. You. Before I knew or understood what this feeling was or knew you were there.

I know it was you, it was always you.

My hand moves before I consciously decide to move it. Fingers wrapping around myself slowly and firmly. My jaw tightens as my wrist begins to move in controlled preside movements.

You’ve had me in your control before I knew.

It took me so long to realize.

How unsatisfying it must have been for you.

Sorry I’m so fucking stubborn.

My breathing deepens, chest expanding as the heat and pressure begin to build. Knowing you’re here—watching—feeling—pushes something darker to the surface. The need for possession.

You are the only thing I want consuming my mind.

My grip tightens and I move faster and harder.

My head falls back against the tile as the water runs over my face, into my mouth. I welcome the suffocation. The loss of oxygen sharpening every sensation.

The steam thickens around me, but it isn’t enough.

I want to feel it consume me, suffocate me.

I step out of the direct stream, my back slamming against the cold tile. The temperature shock tears a sharp inhale from my lungs.

I feel you touch me, rough and certain.

Heat moves up my thighs like a living thing. My stomach flexes as my muscles tense violently in response, my hips jerking forward instinctively.

Yes.

Take it.

Take all of it.

My anger.

My helplessness.

My weakness.

Burn it out of me.

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